Sunday, December 12, 2010

Tis the Season..........


I LOVE THE CHRISTMAS SEASON. I want to preface this with that, because you have to believe me when I say that this is my FAVORITE time of the year; however recently I have noticed an alarming trend in people being complete a-holes (excuse my French...) whilst shopping for loved ones. I am all for staking out bargains, and utilizing what I like to call Defensive Retail Tactics (DRT); however I maintain that one can do this without being the aforementioned a-hole. Seriously. Here are some of my observations........Don't be this person.....
1. The Stop and Stare: Today I was perusing some gift bags in Hallmark when a woman came up to me and just stood there. I'm looking at her like, yes? She stares back. I'm sorry lady am I supposed to read your mind.... She continues to stand there so I say, oh do you need to get by? Again, stares. I'm sorry is that bitch for yes?? I move aside and she continues on--- literally without ever speaking a word. I understand that I live in a diverse environment and a language barrier is possible, but smiles are universal and homegirl could have at least smiled and shrugged, I'd take it......bottom line: two words...... EXCUSE ME. Live them. Use them. Love them.
2. The I Realize You're Looking at that Sweater But I Want To Now As Well, So Move: You all should know that I can spot this person a mile away. They are dead behind the eyes, usually well dressed, and robotic in their movement. One moment you're looking at a sweater (dress, blouse, bag, belt, etc.) and suddenly; without warning, you're not. What are you looking at you might wonder? The back of their heads. This drives me bananas. Oh I'm sorry, did you not see me standing here? Oh you did? Oh...well ok...that's fine...maybe we could look together? No? This is NOT ok. It's called waiting your turn, it takes only a moment; and chances are that turtleneck will still be 40% off in 3 minutes. Cool your jets.
3. The I Know Your Time Is Valuable, Just Not As Valuable As Mine....: Everyone has been behind this person. They have 36 returns from 1997, and they want to use 18 coupons on 3 different credit cards. I will get in this line every. single. time. Without fail. I understand wanting to use your coupons, but if they expired, that's it, game over, move on. You should have bought 2 candles for 20.00 3 weeks ago when you could have. It's no one's fault but your own. Play by the rules, they're there for a reason.

In short, I think if we all just become a little more cognoscente of our surroundings, our shopping excursions can be harmonious for all parties involved and I won't be tempted to hit you in the head with bags filled with the day's acquisitions. This is the most wonderful time of the year. Don't ruin it for everyone.


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